id be glad to
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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