I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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