i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
