He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
