Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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