And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
