maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
