his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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