I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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