dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
