Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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