It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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