belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
