We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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