the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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