i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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