i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
