We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
