Sponge bath it is.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You are a genius and a whore.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
