We named our party play list daddy issues
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
