he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
God, I missed his penis.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
