remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
