I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
