We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
