I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
