There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
