I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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