fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
