When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
