i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
tell me about the eggs
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
