So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
