So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
