I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize