I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
