she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
