doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
