all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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