You just made me feel so damn special
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
