I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
