ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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