i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
