Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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