to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
