elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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