I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
