That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have tasted many bathrooms
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
