She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
