Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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