GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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