I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
