Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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