He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
